It Is Finished!!

FREEDOM!!!!

How it echoes and reverberates through my soul. Where once was desolation, fear, resentment, insecurity, and abuse now comes a garden, wide open spaces to frolic and rejoice in God's love. Freedom. Surreal. So real.

Hallelujah to a God who wants me to have this freedom more than I do and who leads me in perfect timing to attain it. Wow, so many hidden snares of the devil and myself have been unmasked. Hallelujah that God has been unveiling them to me and has been sweetly walking with me to redirect me to Him. Hallelujah, God You are SO good!

I used to love plunging into my soul to uncover what was wrong with me and try to sort it out on my own accord. I wanted to git-r-done, learn as much as I could and sort through as much garbage as I could. But I didn't realize how, by doing this, I was totally leaving God out or demanding that He heal me now. I was completely ignorant to His timing and steps. I was missing out on His heart for me.

Wow. Conviction. I can rest. There will always be things wrong with me. And perhaps being preoccupied with fixing ourselves or finding what's wrong with ourselves and dealing with it is a sin that keeps us from a pure relationship with God. Instead of always being in need and opening scabbed wounds, we should be searching out God's heart. Our focus should not be in making ourselves perfect but in finding out more and dwelling in God. Ah, so much better. Such relief! And while we are doing this, the Holy Spirit will call parts of our unclean soul to make itself known, and we (God and myself) will work through it together. This life isn't about me becoming perfect anyway. It's about glorifying God.



"God glorified is a man fully alive." This is true. God did make us and loves us so intensely. He wants us to be fully alive. That will come as we delve into Him. It's not up to us to fix ourselves. It's up to us to be open to God's love and let His Spirit transform us and move through us. Amen.

Today God opened my eyes to what forgiveness truly is. I have been terrified of the thought of forgiveness because I did not want to let the people who have certainly done injustices to be free from the debt they owe. I wanted them to understand what they did and pay. What I didn't realize was that I was paying for not forgiving them more than they were. The consequences of what they did were able to fester in me and manifest in awful ways. Why? Because by not forgiving them, I've kept my attachment to them connected and alive.

When someone screws us over, we have a heavenly contract with them to make them pay. By forgiving them, we sever that contract, that bond, and surrender the person to God. Now that person is not under me, but in God's hands. That person is now free to feel God opening their eyes to what they've done - feel the pain, remorse, regret and see the havoc they have wrecked. And that person is free to run to God in repentance (the true meaning of the word - being transformed and not living that way again). Then, they can see and experience God's love and yearning for them in full, and God can work with them to make them the person He intended them to be. Redemption. So good. One who would destroy life would be redeemed and join the team of bringing life. Woot woot! ...But, if they don't receive God's grace, then God can make them pay way better than I can. Either way, evil will be defeated in the end. Amen.

I don't have to wait until the day Jesus comes back to begin healing and to grow closer to God. Today, for the first time in 19 years, I have experienced true freedom and peace through sincere forgiveness. I am done with cycles of trying to figure out the extent of my hurt (and consequently, probably inflicting more hurt and self pity on myself). I am done with living in the consequences of their actions. The battle is already won. Jesus has already taken on the sin of my abusers so that He can claim me back as His precious daughter. He has patiently waited for me to understand that I can't save myself nor hold on to these things to identify myself and gain love.

For the first time in over 19 years, I feel like I've truly forgiven those who have marred me and have reclaimed my name as Daughter, Bride, Friend, and Beloved of God. Redeemed, beautiful, claimed, sought after, a city no longer deserted. I've let go and have fallen back into the arms of a God who will not rest until my righteousness shines out like the dawn. A God who has formed my heart, every desire and shape, and who has promised that He will complete the work He has started in me. I am God's, and I'm not going to let dumb mistakes of man keep me from Him. Amen! I have released my bond with them to God, and I am free to live with Him.

The walls are tumbling down. Amen.









Current song picks to freely frolic to - hallelujah ;)
Sweet
Freedom

photocred = Josh Warner